3X3 Mentor Course: from leader to mentor

“Many of our young people naturally want to take on a leadership role in their communities. We think that’s great to see. So we started thinking about how we could help them do that”, says Roxanna van Erp, trainer and Programme Lead of the 3X3 Mentor Course. “Through the programme, we want to give participants the tools they need to make an even greater impact on their communities by becoming more aware of their own actions and behaviour.”

During the two-day kick-off, participants work on their own stories. Over the following eight weeks, they learn how to guide others in their personal development and how to be there for others. “Leadership starts with yourself”, says Roxanna. “You can only help someone else once you’ve first taken a look at yourself.”

That is why questions such as “Who am I?”, “Where am I in life?” and “What is my story?” were central to the two-day kick-off. “There were nine of us, and we immediately went into depth by doing an exercise in which we had to share a low point and a high point in our lives”, says Dylan. “It was a good icebreaker: we got to know each other better straight away, which helped us understand each other more.”

Dylan also found it a good way to reflect on himself. “How often do you actually take the time to think about the obstacles you’ve faced in life, how you dealt with them and how you became the person you are today?” he asks. “That can be quite a big step to take, especially with other people around. But it does help you decide who you want to be.”

Since the two-day kick-off, participants have already covered several skills in recent weeks, including observing and recognising changes in behaviour. “For example, we were given a scenario about a participant who always takes part in activities but suddenly starts behaving differently. At first, this person was always cheerful and positive and joined in with the group, but suddenly they became quieter and started distancing themselves from the group.”

The question was what Dylan and the other participants in the 3X3 Mentor Course would do in that situation. “I would talk to them and reassure them”, says Dylan. “And if I noticed that I couldn’t solve the problem on my own, I would ask for help from someone such as a youth worker. But before you can do any of that, you first have to notice that someone’s behaviour has changed.”

According to Roxanna, “observing and recognising changes in behaviour” fall under the category of “human skills”. She believes these skills are more important than ever. “With social media and all the other rapid technological developments, it’s important to keep working on your human skills. Think about communication and understanding how we relate to one another.”

David Timmerman is another 3X3 Leader taking part in the 3X3 Mentor Course. “Several people at 3X3 Unites told me that the programme would suit me, and it also fits well with my Social Work studies”, says David. “I find it interesting to reflect on myself and take a closer look at who I am, how I became the person I am today and how I can stay as true to myself as possible.”

He has found that this is not always easy. “Society has certain norms and values that everyone is expected to meet. A lot is expected of you, at school, at work and at your sports club. For a long time, I wanted to meet those expectations because that’s just how things are supposed to be. But I noticed that I was moving further away from myself when I tried to live up to those imposed norms.”